Dracula is Secretly About Syphilis

A few weeks back I accused the hero of Gotham of having rabies. And by accused, I mean I straight up uncovered it like Woodward and Bernstein broke Watergate. Which would make Bruce Wayne’s infection…Batgate? Rabies-Gate?

Anyway, point is, after finding out that my favorite vigilante is harboring a lethal contagion, I decided to start poking around for other fictional icons who are bearing the burden of terminal illness. And wouldn’t you know…

BramStoker01

Irishman, moody goth, and author of Dracula (the vampires that don’t sparkle) wrote his masterpiece in a time when syphilis wasn’t just a horrifying mystery– but it was at its freaky-deaky rampaging peak.

Syphilis was so common, in fact, that the word “pox” was coined to describe syphilis symptoms. So when a gentleman slapped the monocle from your face and declare a pox on your house, he was telling you he hoped your wife, kids, and granny died from having their nose fall off, their genitals melt, and their brains eaten away by infection.

Harsh.

Harsh.

Not only was syphilis the cause of widespread death in the streets of Europe from 1500 to 1950, it also turned the flesh and faces of its victims into monstrous shells of humanity over an excruciatingly long period of time, with infections that can lie dormant for more than 25 years (sorry to any syphilitic readers out there.)

So what are the physical signs of syphilis, aside from “being a floozy?”

There are all sorts of nodes, nodules, sores, and wounds that mark a syphilis outbreak, none of which is pleasant to look at. But the infection we’re focusing on, and the type Bram Stoker likely suffered from, is tertiary syphilis. AKA Neurosyphilis.

Neurosyphilis manifests as growths (gummas) which can pop up anywhere on the body, and can deform and enlarge the cranium. Dementia can also be a late symptom. As well as pupils that don’t shrink when exposed to light. Hutchinson’s Teeth, or sharp, irregular teeth that look remarkably like fangs, can be a sign of congenital syphilis. And lastly, sufferers at any stage of syphilis can experience weight loss, fatigue, poor balance, fever, and hair loss.

So let’s review. Large, bald head with irregular lumps. Dementia. Black, beady eyes…hunched back…shuffling gait…emaciated body…sharp teeth…wait a second…

"Yes, go on."

“Yes, go on.”

Pictured: Nosferatu, the first film based on Bram Stoker’s Dracula.

It’s possible Bram Stoker never intended his story to be a parable about his own battle with syphilis (swapping fluids with strangers at night leads to misery).  But I have no doubt that the character of Dracula was inspired by the the most horrifying disease of Stoker’s age.

And maybe, just maybe, if Dracula wasn’t intended to be an anti-STD ad for the 19th century, then certainly the message about avoiding the allure of men with hungry eyes was an unconscious warning to maidens far and wide. After all, something that’s remained consistent with every iteration of the vampire lore is the wrongness that comes with becoming a creature of the night. The damnation inherent in being bitten, and turned, still draws a boatload of parallels to how we treat people with infectious diseases today.

edward01

— Google Images

Quarantine! The answer is quarantine!

Published by jdplots

Author and mangler of plots.

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